Grounds

I want a divorce.


Why? Cause I put a camera


in our damn bedroom!


 


Up, Chuck

When I think about


your hands on me it’s all I


can do not to hurl


 


 

KISS

How much simpler if

 

one of us just said it: I

 

want to be with you


 


Hot fun

This was just supposed


to be a quick summer fling.


What the fuck happened!?


 

Cosmopolitan Magazine

?

I’m asking you a


question with my eyes and you’re


not answering it


 


Loveseat

Pushovers never


get to the point of pushing


her over the couch


 


Truckin’

Pick-up lines are not

 

evil in and of themselves.

 

It’s who’s saying them.


 


Dentistry

Looks, brains, wealth, and class

 

don’t make up for the fact that

 

he lies through his teeth

 

 

On & Off

He says the sole thing

 

better than me in my thong

 

is me with it off