I want a divorce.

Why? Cause I put a camera

in our damn bedroom!


Up, Chuck

When I think about

your hands on me it’s all I

can do not to hurl




How much simpler if


one of us just said it: I


want to be with you


Hot fun

This was just supposed

to be a quick summer fling.

What the fuck happened!?


Cosmopolitan Magazine


I’m asking you a

question with my eyes and you’re

not answering it



Pushovers never

get to the point of pushing

her over the couch



Pick-up lines are not


evil in and of themselves.


It’s who’s saying them.



Looks, brains, wealth, and class


don’t make up for the fact that


he lies through his teeth



On & Off

He says the sole thing


better than me in my thong


is me with it off