I coach men on how to succeed with women.
As part of this work, I’ve been a female facilitator for the Authentic Man Program, a course designed, in part, to help men understand and move past issues they may have with women, whether that’s sexual, relational, or emotional.
I will never forget one particular moment at a workshop that completely rewired how I thought about men, and what’s really under the surface when it comes to sexuality.
In part of the workshop, we did a “silent approach” exercise.
A man comes up to two or three women sitting in chairs or on a couch, and just stands there for one to two minutes. No words, no small talk, no distractions. Nothing to detract from the full fact of his presence, the essence of how he’s showing up, and the truth about what the women get from being with him.
The exercise is usually done twice. The first time, the man may get feedback from women like, “I feel a little ignored, like you keep looking down and away. I actually feel a little ugly, like maybe there’s something wrong with me.” Or, “I feel a lot of fuzzy thoughts in my head. I can’t really feel anything from you from the neck down. It’s all head.” Or, “I feel a buzzing all through my chest, all the way down into my pussy.”
It’s no holds barred.